Welcome to our new blog, “Not Silent.” We have actually two other blogs, one that is more related to general news about The Rolling Barrage and The Rolling Barrage PTSD Foundation. The second blog we have is called The Full Pull and that blog is more focused on the annual ride, The Rolling Barrage. This blog, Not Silent is focused on mental health. Whether it be PTSD or other related mental health challenges one may face.

No real experts here. I certainly don’t profess to be an expert in mental health. When you read about doctors or watch documentaries on mental health they all generally relay that while there has been great advances in understanding and treating mental health issues, they pretty much say they are only scratching the surface in understanding the brain and how it is, what it is, and the complexities of it all.

For me, I consider it a good day some mornings on getting ready for work that I am wearing matching socks. I am not making light either of the challenges one can face struggling with PTSD or any mental health challenge. Just a simple fact in my life, there are days I wake up in a fog as it were and I look in my sock drawer and it becomes the “splitting of the atom” problem. After that, once I make that all important sock decision, which does sound absolutely ridiculous, is solved in my head, I’m good. Throw the kitchen sink of problems at me and I won’t blink an eye.

Now, I have no real clue why it has become a challenge some days and other days it is not. I just know that for a very long time it has been one of those side effects of a series of traumatic events in my life going back to my teen years. So has the other things such as not liking going into massive crowds of people in a department store. Going to Costco sometimes for me is no different were you to push me into a tank of water filled with starving Great White sharks. I’d almost take better odds on my personal survival on the sharks over the insanity at times of a Costco.

Or waking up at 3:00 am and my mind is just in over-drive with thoughts on my past, present, work, ideas that pop into my head like someone is in there doing the bubble wrap popping in my head thing. Oh night terrors. Yes as the sun sets, and some consider it to be the end of a long day, for others it is just the beginning. There was a time, the sun setting was the worst for me. I’d have gladly accepted a world ravaged by vampires until dawn over night terrors by comparison. Least I guess I would have an idea on how to fight it. Yeah, be brave enough to get over the crowds at a Costco and buy like a pallet of garlic cloves.

Kidding aside, waking up screaming, yelling, bathed in sweat, breathing like you just ran a marathon, is no fun. There is not a lot of Lance Romance as we used to call it with the one you love while going through night terrors. Probably be better off with a CPAP mask on with the sounds of forced air and gurgling water in the background.

Anyway, as you can tell, clearly this is not a thesis on mental health. It is just one of the many complexities of a person maybe just like yourself. Over time the “Not Silent” blog will develop. With many stories from our audience. We will try our best to have “accredited” professionals guest write here so there is a blending of article types. But truthfully, I believe the real advancements from within come from sharing your experiences and providing personal insight. Your own version of being, “Not Silent.”

Thank you,

Christian – CEO – The Rolling Barrage PTSD Foundation