WANTED – JIM “CYBER GRUMP” GORDON

Crimes – none specified in Warrants other than “Person of Interest”

Intelligence – it is believed Jim “Cyber Grump” Gordon’s hair follicles have a high value to the Charity / Not For Profit community. Rumors of gold like properties within his hair have been noted by many eyewitnesses. The coloring also suggests potentially platinum.

Recent Activities

Jim “Cyber Grump” Gordon has from August 1st 2023 to date eluded authorities in Newfoundland, Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island, New Brunswick, Ontario, Manitoba and Saskatchewan. He was seen at the RCMP Heritage Centre in Regina and slipped through the grasp of authorities, and is believed to be hiding in Medicine Hat, Alberta.

It is believed his time will be up in Okotoks, Alberta. The word is out and escape into the mountains is not an option. The long arm of the law is going to reel him in. Time to put an end to the shenanigans.

How You Can Help

The Rolling Barrage is co-operating with authorities in his safe capture and extraction of known hair follicles. Authorities believe this can be done safely in Okotoks, Alberta. With the expected attendance at this location to be very high, he will surrender peacefully.

Donations to The Rolling Barrage can be done directly in support of all programs and operations that The Rolling Barrage contributes to across the country. Funds received will go towards other Charity and Not for-Profit organizations so they too can benefit from Jim “Cyber Grump” Gordon’s capture.

As sightings and Intel are gathered, deciphered, and collated, we will inform on progress.

End Message …

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