The Rolling Barrage has some serious August 2023 clothing lines so you can do The Full Pull, or even a leg or two in both style and comfort. But don’t take our word for it, listen to our Sales Champion “Throttle” and what he has to say about our merchandise line. Go ahead Throttle.
“Thanks. Ok, so you want to look both cool and in style on this years The Rolling Barrage, celebrating its 7th Year! So I worked with the designers and I was able to convince them that this years Limited Edition Long Sleeve Shirt should have two things.. Red and Gold! It also coincides with our buddies in the RCMP / GRC. They are cool, they give me treats. So you can’t go wrong with this Special Edition Long Sleeve shirt. It’s styling and you will be “tres’ cool” …. haha .. see that, its French.. learned that from a Poodle down the block I know. Anyway… so get yourself that shirt. Ohh, see that below.. the website guy did something.”
Website Guy, “It’s called a graphic of the item you are talking about Throttle.”
Throttle, “Yeah whatever propeller head, just keep your yap shut, I am doing the selling here kapish!”
Website Guy, “Why do you sound like Joe Pesci now?”
Throttle, “You talkin’ to me.. I didn’t think so.”
“Ok, next up is our Hoodies. We not only have one, we have two! Personally, I recommend both! Cause when one is in the wash, you have another one you can wear. See not only do I sell, I solve problems. Your welcome! They are both black in colour and one Hoodie is a pull-over style. Ok Web Guy do your thing.”
Throttle, “Oh nice. Did you take those pics? Wait no one cares if you did or not.”
Web Guy, “You have a little bit of an attitude there fella.”
Throttle, (blows raspberry)
“Where was I, so that is the traditional The Rolling Barrage Hoodie you are seeing right there. Really slick, cool and warm too. The next one, really popular is The Rolling Barrage Zip Up Hoodie. This is a great addition like I said if you are doing laundry and don’t want to go into a “fashion crisis” while riding. You have this as a reliable back-up.
Website Guy – “Fashion Crisis?”
Throttle – “Listen, (poking chest) do… your… job… and leave the business to me okay there Geek-Boy!”
Website Guy – “Sure”
“Ok, I don’t know about you all, but this Website Guy is a PITA… and I am not talking about the food either. So as you can see, little modification in the front with the logo because of the zipper, but it actually will add to your overall fashion situational awareness. You could zip this down ever so slowly, showing your Limited Edition Long Sleeve Shirt underneath! How about that!”
Website Guy – “Fashion Situational Awareness?”
Throttle – “nah nah nah… SILENCE!”
Website Guy – “Fine, anything else you want to add?”
Throttle “Why yes! Of course, none of this looks absolutely “spectaculaire” without “flaire!”.. he he.. see that’s more French, mention stuff in French and people go crazy for it. To add to your overall “haute couture” and that powerful ambiance you want to flow from your very presence, you need to add some cultured accessories or “Flaire!” as I like to call it.”
Website Guy – “Haute Couture… Ambiance.. Flaire.. wow?”
Throttle “Yes that is the whole purpose… add some “WOW!” (snaps paw digits). Add some Flaire baby… yeah.. throw some down Web Nummy!”
Throttle “Ya.. there ya go. We have some awesome new stickers as well as patches to add to your overall “fashion bling.” The best part about it all, cause they are not big or bulky items like Web Dude’s melon, they actually fit inside the shipping box with your other items. So you are saving on shipping really by just crammin’ and jammin’ as much of that awesome merchandise into that shipping box.”
Website Guy – “Are we done?”
Throttle – “Yes we are for now. But don’t worry, I will be back because apparently you need all the help you can get!”
Website Guy – “I look so forward to it.”
Throttle – “Hey, were you trying to be cylindrical.. cinnamon.. no.. spherical wit me!”
Website Guy – “Cynical.. no… not at all.”
Throttle – “Okay.. I have to go outside.. nature calls.”
Website Guy – “Enjoy.. Thank you for putting up with that. Our The Rolling Barrage Merchandise Store has great clothing and other items. Make the most of your shipping costs by adding things like patches, stickers , gaiters and even a T-Shirt or two to the order. Our Rolling Barrage Merchandise Store is open 24/7 and thankfully not manned by Throttle.”