Throttle – (Chatting with Torque on Pet-Book a secret social media platform they all use… on Website Guy’s computer)

“Yeah, so bro, I did this Rolling Barrage thing, I am still @#$%^&* wet. Rain! @#$%-^&*&, rain is an understatement. I am still in my rain gear for fear it’s going to %^&*@#$ rain indoors.”

“How did I get there?” @#$% – #$ that is a story all on its own. I jumped on that Big Freight truck, who is one of the sponsors of this whole big deal, and scooted out to Newfoundland. Bro, for fun they eat cod tongue… yeah I know.. fried bologna… kiss a fish and then drink! Yeah.. I thought so too, but you know, pretty cool actually. Met a ton of cool humans. Met the Provincial Lead too, some guy named Chris Salisbury.. yeah like the steak. Great guy.”

“We then took a boat… yeah, yeah… the big CEO or whatever he calls himself, says there are no choppers. Anyway, we land in Nova Scotia. Guess what? More !@#$%^& rain! I swear it was following these guys like a tail. We had a fancy dinner on one of the Navy ships. Met the Provincial Lead there too, Ian Hutchings. Another great guy.”

“We then went to another island. No boat, just this huge bridge! @#$% – %^&* is it big. Met the Provincial Lead there too, some guy who used to be in the Navy and on submarines. Everyone calls him Glutton.. but I watched him eat quite a few times and he didn’t seem like one to me. Riders… humans… they can be weird.”

“Then New Brunswick. Super nice Provincial Lead there. Her name is Linda. They did something called a donation to a place filled with horses, called H.E.L.P. Dude! Biggest cheque I ever seen, like it was huge, not sure how they will fit it in their pocket but everyone seemed happy about it.”

“We then went into Quebec. Guess what? Yeah you guessed it, more !@#$%^& rain. The head guy there is Jacques. But almost every guy there is named Jacques… just saying. Also met two others, who are going to be the Quebec Provincial Leads, Michelle and Francois. Seen them talking later on the ride with the CEO fella but what does he know, he doesn’t even speak French. He rides around in an SUV. Not even a motorcycle. Yeah I know.. idiot right.”

“Then on to Ontario, yeah, more of that wet stuff. But you know, riders.. humans… cause they are weird right, they !@#$%^& love that @#$%. Met the Provincial Lead Kakes Myway. I know, names himself after a bakery. I got to meet some guy named Scott Casey. Its Founder.. not Flounder.. yeah I made that mistake too. Oh and Leslie who is nicknamed Lastly. Ontario was great, but it’s like the province with no end… kind of like some emails I have read from the CEO guy.”

“Manitoba… Great place! Stopped in Neepawa. !@#$ – $%^& the town went all out for them. Blocking roads and stuff. Got to meet the Provincial Lead – Mark. He is a pretty serious dude. Oh and we had a BBQ in some place I think was named after beer, called Steinbach. Big Freight and Inland another sponsor, put on a feed like I have never seen before ever.”

“Yeah, yeah.. I am almost done. This @#$% is important, hold your @#$% you can go outside after I am done”

“Saskatchewan.. yeah, that place. Home of that naked dude The Rolling Barrage used to sell merchandise… yeah, that guy! Met Richard the Saskatchewan Provincial Lead, he is kind of quiet. We also went to the RCMP Heritage Centre. No choppers, but lots of old police cars and things like that. Met Marcie, who is with Ranger Quilts and she wrapped blankets around a bunch of people while there too. RCMP, veterans and other First Responders. I have to admit, I teared up during those times.”

“Onto Texas… no wait, that is another ride; Alberta! The rain was gone, and we were just boiling in the heat. There were a lot of motorcycles too. We had a lot throughout the ride, but this place called Okotoks, rolled out the doggie beds, flags, Fire Trucks, women, children, babies… I was like @#$% – @#$% this is kinda crazy. Met the Provincial Lead Carolla Singer… yeah, I know, named after a car and a sewing machine. I’ve long stopped trying to understand how they name themselves. She is really nice, and her husband Shawn… (whispers) another guy who likes to run around half naked. Even on a thing called a calendar… just sayin’!”

“We then rode to British Columbia. Lots of mountains. Like @#$% – @#$% lots of mountains. At this point, I had met pretty much met all The Full Crew, and they were all great people. I know I am calling them people! They all earned it in my head, cause at this point I am changed too by all that I have seen and experienced. Also, the really sad part is; there was a lot of fire there. Some riders have been through this before who live there, plus floods. But you know they filled a trailer full of water… yes, in bottles… and delivered it to help those in need. The Provincial Lead is Daryl. Nice guy, but I was busy supervising the water loading cause the CEO was nowhere to be found. Off doing other stuff, sounds like @#$% – %^&* to me.”

“Then they did this thing called a Tire Dip.. into the ocean no less! Yeah I figured too, why throw your motorcycle and yourself into the water since you were rained on so much.. but they did. Everyone seemed so happy, content. Kind of like when a human.. I mean person, gives a good belly rub to us. Then they handed out these badges to them. I tried to get one, but these dudes Warren Cave – Nutjob and Jim Gordon – Cyber Grump just said, “who the #$% are you!” To be honest, I think their nicknames are really appropriate.. just saying.”

“So I then hitched some rides back, did some walking, thinking of my time with The Rolling Barrage and I feel different. I was reading some of their stories on the website and a lot of what they felt, I felt too. No, seriously, I did. So that is why I called you up, to kind of share what I felt… and who knows, maybe we can do The Rolling Barrage 2024 together… maybe..”

“You would! That’s great!”

“Oh #$%* I hear the door, the human is back, I have to log off.. chat later.”